First night when I came home, drunk as I could be, there's another mule in the stable where my mule ought to be.
I said "Honey, come here now, explain this thing to me. How come there's a mule in the stable where my mule ought to be?"
And she spake thusly: "Blind fool. Drunk old man. Can't you plainly see? That's nothing but a milk cow where your mule ought to be."
Now, I've travelled this world over a hundred times or more, but a saddle on a milk cow I've never seen before.
Second night when I came home, drunk as I could be, there's another coat on the coat rack where my coat ought to be. Do you see where this is headed?
I summoned her gently from her slumber. "Please explain this thing to me. What's with this coat?"
"Darling of mine. Can't you plainly see? That's nothing but a bedquilt that I sewed for my sister."
I pondered this for a minute. I've travelled this world over a thousand times or more, but pockets in a bedquilt? Such a thing is passing strange indeed. Yet! She is my wife and I trust her implicitly.
Third night when I came home having once again supped at the tavern, behold! Another head on the pillow where my head ought to have been.
I queried my good wife about this phenomenon with as much good humour as I could muster.
Exasperated, she replied, "'Twas the cabbage I would have boiled for you for your supper had you not squandered these past nine hours playing poker and drinking with your buddies down at the King Henry VIII Pub."
Now I've been a few places in my time, and I've eaten some strange things, but a cabbage with a moustache .... well, let me tell you, I was thankful that night for Canadian Pizza Unlimited.